• Syd

Relationship advice




Stillness, a quality I struggle with...BIG TIME. If you would've told me four years ago that I'd spend my free time, fishing or hunting I would have laughed in your face.


Then a boy came along and well...things started to change. At first, I went on these adventures with Charlie because it meant I got to spend more time with him. Then I began going because I LOVED watching him do what he loves.


Honestly, Charlie and I use to get into arguments over the time he'd allocate to hunting and fishing. It seemed to me that whenever he got free time he just wanted to go spend his time with the fish or up in the trees. I would accuse him of loving those activities more than me and then I'd guilt him into staying back with me and forgoing an activity that I later found out he had so much peace and joy in. These conflicts originated early on in our relationship and it didn't take long for us to find resolution.





Communication folks: IT IS KEY. When Charlie insisted that he enjoyed spending time with me and that I was his priority (note: hearing that you are your man's priority is big time) that calmed my thoughts. I also took into account that, due to football, his time to go fishing and hunting was limited. I needed to wake up to the fact that these activities made Charlie very happy. These activities weren't acting as an escape from me, a thought that I had planted in my own head, but actually a BIG piece of why I loved Charlie so much. We compromised knowing that he needed to accommodate my love language, quality time. And that I needed to recognize the limited amount of time he had to enjoy his favorite outdoor activities.


Once our thoughts were on the same page, I didn't resent the idea of fishing and hunting. The first time I went fishing with him I thought I was going to hate it. I jumped in the boat thinking, "you're here to support your man, even if you aren't having fun you need to let him know that you appreciate this experience." However, I actually enjoyed being still. "Weird", I thought. I embraced the simplicity and quietness of my environment.





Okay, pause. I'm actually really competitive and was getting upset that I wasn't catching anything (or anything meaningful). But then came a phrase that would not only calm me down but make me fall more in love with Charlie. He said, "it's not about catching, it's about fishing." I thought to myself, "who is this man? and why did God ever think to bless me with him? He's incredible and he is exactly what I needed."


Charlie is patience, he is stillness and steadiness, and he brings to the table the virtues that I find so hard to grasp.


I write this blog not to only brag on my man but to encourage other couples. I honestly really struggle with these things that Charlie finds to be so easy. I often find that couples rely on their significant other to makeup for places where they lack...and I get that (obviously). However, I think we should learn more from one another rather than completely rely on one another.


I'm thankful for Charlie, for not only being patient, still and steady but for teaching me how I can be patient, still and steady. I'm in no way close to mastering them, but I believe he would agree that I've grown a lot in those areas. In addition, I think by learning from one another you only grow closer as a couple.


Things to leave with:

-Communicate

-Understand your differences

-Learn from one another


P.S. Happy two years Charlie Woerner. You're my earthly rock and I'm forever grateful for who YOU are.

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