If you know Charlie and me then you know that this past year has been filled with the absolute most joy and heartbreak we've ever experienced. If you don't know us on this level that's okay and normally I'm an extremely open person but for now we would like to keep some of the joy and heartbreak to ourselves and I hope you all can respect that.
Recently Charlie and I had a conversation about our future. During this conversation, we uncovered some grime that had built up from the joy and the heartbreak. We realized we were being very protective of our emotions and not in a good way. We were overprotective and although I understand why we were that doesn't make it okay. Instead of believing that God would do something we just told ourselves, "I will be okay if He doesn't." Do I believe that we would be okay? Yes! But that's not the point, the point is that we had already come to terms with God not giving us the desires of our hearts just so we could prepare for a heartbreak that hadn't even happened. We were prepared to be let down because it was easier.
After our conversation, Charlie texted me the next day saying this: I prayed that we expect the best and not always expect the worst. We have to be prepared for the worst of course, but we need to expect the best or we won't ever truly find the Joy that God wants us to have. I feel like if we're not expecting the best we're putting God in a box. I pray that God molds our hearts of clay into more "expectant hearts". When the worst happens is when our duty of "praying as everything relies on God" comes into play and that should give us peace because we have already "worked like it all depends on us."
He shared this with me and my first reaction was, "Thank you, Jesus, for giving me a man of faith. I can't wait to marry him." Charlie spoke insanely wise words that were coated with the breath of Jesus.
We were so guarded for the bad to happen that we put God in a box. Charlie and I believed a lie straight from the devil and we didn't even know it...he is so sly. The devil was stealing our joy, killing God's truth and destroying our hope. He packaged all of this in eye-catching wrapping paper that screamed, "this will protect you!" and it was tied with a bow labeled comfort. We were deceived.
Thankfully we spoke truth over it. And Charlie brought the WORD!!! Our Father wants us to have life and have it in abundance but we must trust Him. We have to be expectant.
A few days later Charlie shared this with a good friend of his, Jeb Blazevich. Jeb agreed but also charged us to pray that God's desires would be our desires. He encouraged us to pray that our desires would line up with God's...GREAT WORD! Then a week later I shared this with two of my good friends, Becca and AK. Becca said something very powerful well she recited scripture and scripture is always powerful! Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart! Becca said, if we are delighting in the Lord then we can guarantee that our desires are His desires.
I'm very thankful for friends who speak the truth! I'm also thankful that I didn't post this blog the day that I wrote it. I'm glad I waited for these kind folks to speak powerful messages into this topic. Big thanks to a BIG God.
I'm thankful that Charlie and I talk about the deep stuff, I'm thankful that we problem-solve together, I'm thankful that our God has already defeated satan, I'm thankful that God has already given me a large desire of my heart: A faithful man of the Lord, I'm thankful God chose Charlie and I to endure heartbreak and celebrate joy. I'm thankful.