Engagement Series: It's time to plan
Wedding planning? Have I done any wedding planning? I’ve answered this question I don’t know how many times. I answer it hesitantly with a, "hmm not really." I answer it hesitantly because I don’t want people to assume that I’m not excited to marry Charlie or that I’m a sucky bride. Which, neither is true. I can’t wait to marry my man!
But how can I plan a wedding when I’ve heard how difficult marriage is? When I’ve heard that at some point and time I’m gonna go hate Charlie. When I’ve seen marriages fall apart because couples have forgotten how to date after 20 plus years of parenting. When the divorce rate is sky high and healthy marriages are quickly diminishing.
I’m sorry but I haven’t got much time to wedding plan because it’s time to hit my knees hard, read my Bible intentionally and prepare my mind, body and spirit for this life long covenant that I’m going to enter. This HUGE blessing has shown up and it just so happens to be the greatest metaphor that God has given us to show how Jesus loves the church. So I apologize that I haven’t gotten to our color scheme yet.
And you might be thinking, “dang. She seems kinda paranoid and scared to marry Charlie.” Which I can assure you I’m not. The reason I’m so focused on preparing for Charlie and I’s marriage is because the Devil is also preparing. Satan has been working his darnedest these past few years to force Charlie and I together. Satan has wanted us to worship one another and tempt us sexually. But as soon as our, "I do’s" are said the Devil's game plan changes BIG TIME! Some of the devils best work is ruining marriages. So why on earth would I be placing all of focus on my rain game plan and dream wedding dress when I’ve got an enemy who has a life long game plan against my dream marriage.
So, yes I’ve picked an officiant for our wedding but I’ve also picked a shepherd to guide Charlie and I on this epic and beautiful journey of marriage. I will be spending time on planning my dream wedding but I will be spending more time on preparing for Charlie and I’s marriage.
And I’m not mad that people ask all these questions. I enjoy it and I like hearing others ideas and advice. But is this not a trap in itself that we fall into daily. Do we not find it easier to ask, “How’s the new car treating you?” “I saw that you got a promotion... what did they give you!” Or “what have you been doing?” Maybe instead we should be asking “How’s your relationship going?” “Have you found it difficult becoming a leader to your former co-workers?” “How are you doing (with the intention of finding a genuine answer)?”
We’ve started asking questions with easy answers in hopes that it keeps the conversation going long enough not to get awkward. We’re so comfortable asking easy questions that we avoid questions like, “How’s your relationship with the Lord?” awkward and sometimes threatening. Gah lee we need to CUT THAT OUT because it’s affecting your friendships and relationships deeply.
So ask me who I’m catering for my wedding but also ask me about who my shepherd is. Ask someone about their new dog, but don’t forget to question how their relationship with their kids is going.