Dear Sydney Answer

Question: "I don’t know how to get my crush to notice me. I really want us to meet, but I don’t know how to “help” him find out that I exist lol. What is your advice on that ? And what’s your opinion on girls approaching their crushes first. Thank you."

The number of times I've heard this question or asked myself this question, wow. Let's be honest, guys don't pick up on a lot. I'm not trying to knock 'em but it's just the truth and I know, for a fact, that the guys I know would agree. A male mind and a female mind operate VERY differently and the faster you understand that the more positive and patient you and your relationship will become. Charlie and I read, For Men Only and For Women Only which gives you the low down on how the other half thinks, acts and so much more! We both highly recommend reading them together. I say all of this because it's perfectly normal for you to feel unnoticed EVEN IF you are dropping hints or showing interest.

So...what do you do!? Start by understanding why you have the crush in the first place. Sometimes our feelings take over and we lose our guidance. It's important for you to understand what it is about him that you like. Also, if you feel like you're having to change or alter who you are in order to get noticed that's a major red flag. You don't want to gain a relationship by sacrificing important parts of your identity. That critical decision not only will result in an unsuccessful relationship but also cause a lot of pain for yourself.

I can relate to this question because this is kind of how my relationship with my, now, husband, started. I had a crush and an interest in him and he had LITERALLY no idea who I was. I 10000% made the first move. I asked one of his teammates if he could introduce us/give Charlie my number anddd talk me up a little. He did, thank you, Quincy! We texted a little, met and talked for a couple of hours in a booth at Waffle House, and continued texting over Christmas break. Charlie met me intending to just want a new friend and I went in knowing I wanted to date him. Like I mentioned before, guys don't pick up on hints so I was the one who initiated the "I like you" conversation and further down the line the "I love you" conversation. And girl, let me tell you, I was dropping hints! **Also, side note, I've found that the good guys are usually 10x more oblivious than other guys and once you're in a relationship you'll be very thankful for that attribute. ** I think this answers your question, I'm all on board for making the first move!

Now, with all this being said...God's got it! I could've done the same thing with 2, 3, or 4 other guys before, and it did not work out. All of my advice isn't bulletproof but this piece of advice is: pray about your feelings, pray over your decisions and most importantly pray over your future husband. God's plan doesn't fail...ever. His plan is always better than your own.

In summary, know why you have the crush, don't alter yourself to get noticed, there is nothing wrong with YOU initiating things and pray and trust in the Lord.

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