Woohoo! Y’all came back. Last week I touched on the scripture part of my first journal post of my “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose” year. We dug into pursing the Lord not just externally but internally. By seeking him we take our relationship so much deeper with him. Today however, I want to talk to y’all about the “Full Hearts” part of my 2016.
This part comes to life in my letter to the Lord.
1/11/15 (Yes I accidently wrote down the wrong year)
First day of Class, X-ray on my thumb, Mom says I should do a blog
John 4:14 But Whoever drinks the water I give him will never know thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.
I pray Lord for self-respect, value, and confidence. I pray for Joy. I pray for Hannah (one of my best friends who had a big decision to make) and Jordan (my big brother). I pray for my Husband. I pray Lord for peace with myself.
I am a rather outgoing girl so most people would think that I have a ton of confidence and self-respect and value but nahh you’re wrong. Some of the most outgoing people I know (including myself) really struggle with these three characteristics. That is why I prayed for this in my journal, because thoughts webbed with these struggles produce nothing but negative beliefs. I was so tired of the devil implanting lies into my head but I was even more tired of believing them. Throughout the year this prayer was being answered and it wasn’t but a couple of months ago that I took action against these thoughts. On November 3rd of 2016 I posted a picture on da gram (aka instagram) and basically said “Hiya, I don’t know about y’all but it is super hard to value yourself in a world so materialistic and judgmental based on external perceptions and I am struggling with it.” I then shared the verse Luke 12:6-7 and challenged myself to post what I value about others.
So here is Luke 12:6-7:
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are still numbered. Don’t be afraid you are worth more than many sparrows.
I wouldn’t say that this is a popular verse, it is by no means a verse you see tattooed on some ones body or plastered on a cute pinterest post. It is a verse that must be given thought, it must be given some TLC in order to really get it.
So I gave it a little TLC and this is what I got from it. Luke 12:6-7 is really saying, no matter what price the world stamps on us, God values us so much that He cares to know how many hairs are on our head. Please y’all, let that soak in. We hear it all the time “Jesus loves you!” but don’t ever let that brush off your shoulder. That phrase and just the thought of how much Jesus loves you and I should penetrate your soul and cover you in chills. In this verse Luke is saying that God values our worth, not our earthly worth but us. Our personalities, our bodies, our passions, our weaknesses, whatever makes us, us he cares so deeply about. He put so much time into creating us…
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
So how dare we…how dare we, look at ourselves in the mirror and search for our “imperfections.” How dare we go cross-eyed from judging the exterior of others? There is not one of us that God said, “ I am going to make you BETTER.” No, for every one of us he said “I am going to make you different.” In 2016 I wanted to stop playing the comparison game, the game with no real winners only losers. I was praying for self-respect, value, and confidence. I was praying for Joy. I was praying for peace with myself. And Luke 12:6-7 chiseled away at my insecurities within these prayer requests.
Now I am not saying I am healed of all these negative thoughts, heck nah. Are you kidding me? This is one of the devils favorite ways of making us feel weak. Which is why we must constantly SEEK the Lord. Ladies and Gentlemen, there will be days when we wake up and are like holy crap I look and feel like a train wreck. Heck there could be weeks or months in a row that we feel this. But we cannot wallow in it, we must conquer these thoughts with prayer and scripture. Next time you’re scrolling through instagram saying “golly gee, I wish I had his muscles.” Or “golly gee, I wish I could have her hair.” STOP yourself and say Psalms 139. I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE.
Ahh I am so hyped right now. Last night at a bonfire my friend AK brought up this point to me: We all perceive things so differently. Like the way she sees me is completely different than the way someone else sees me. BUT the Lord views us all as his children.
Wow this could get like real deep and intelligent but I am just going to leave you all with this. VALUE YOUR WORTH and TRY TO FATHOM HOW MUCH GOD LOVES YOU and you will have a Full Heart. Easy Peezy Lemon Squeazy #amirite?
Ugh y’all I always do this. I get to writing and get so excited I write so much and don’t have time to talk to you about everything. I was so stoked to tell you about my “praying for my husband” part too…ugh looks like we will both have to wait until next week.